Looking for Love (go back »)

Intro/Chapter 1

I am somewhat you can say wealthy. Well, if you call getting everything you want, have your own car, and apartment, and get to visit almost every state, yet the nicest person on earth then yea I guess I’m wealthy. I am always getting my heart torn out over and over again, me and boyfriend doesn’t equal such a great thing. My dad travels a lot so I have to go with him because I’m eighteen, even though I am not a minor anymore he still treats me like I’m 10, which is really annoying. But what I love about my dad is he really cares about me and he helps me with my problems. It’s cool when I can talk to him about guys because he was a teen once and well he understands most of the things I go through. 

Place: New York: Home to Hide Out

Day and Time: Saturday 7:43pm

Weather: Foggy (very, very little) with a slight breeze

Mood: Sad to confused yet happy

Out Fit of the Day: skinny jeans, oversized white shirt with a belt on the waist, red heals, red bag, hair: loose/curly

2 ½ Months Later

P.O.V:

Andrew: I’m sorry…I

Valerie: No, it’s ok

Andrew: I just, I don’t feel the same way anymore

Valerie: you know what, it’s totally cool, and I…I understand –with hesitation I told him, every time I tried to dry my eyes they just welled up more and more, I tried my best not to break down and cry over the phone. It hurts so much not to fight back and ask him why, why does he want to break up, why doesn’t he feel the same way as I do, to let him go, that’s just like murder, everything we been threw, the good and bad, they all have been awesome, this pain I have right now is as strong as when I loved him-

Andrew: thank you, but I want to ask you something

Valerie: shoot

Andrew: I would still like to be friends, please, I know it’s hard for you at this moment but I…you’re a good friend and…

Valerie: drew, I…just give me time

Andrew: yea sure

Valerie: I just…look I’ll call you back

Andrew: ok

Valerie: bye

Andrew: bye

Valerie: -As I was about to punch end on my cell phone, I heard him call out wait. I had some hope that it was going to be something good but at this point nothing can be good. - Yea?

Andrew: Again, I’m sorry

Valerie: yea me too

-I hung up on him, threw my phone across my room and drowned my face into my pillow. I cried for about 30 minutes, I couldn’t take the pain; I had to go somewhere that I would feel safe and calm. I got up, picked my phone up and put the battery in and slipped it in the pocket of my jeans. I went to my closet looking for a box that I had, it was a box where I put all the things that Andrew had given me during our relation ship. I found the box right where I left it on Tuesday, middle shelve to the left. I grabbed the box and my bag and car keys. I went to the kitchen and put all my things on the counter, I got a sticky pad, pen and wrote:

Daddy,

Going to get some dinner with the crew

If you want me to bring you dinner, call me

Be back later, not sure what time but I’ll call

Love you

-Val-

I put the note on the Wheat thins that my dad always eats before 10:00pm, that way he’ll be sure to see it. I grabbed my stuff and went outside……..yes it’s still not fully dark yet, I thought to myself. I put my stuff in the passenger’s seat; I closed the door and sat in the driver’s seat, I took the lock off the wheel and put the key in and turned it on. While I was waiting for the car to warm up I put my thoughts together and asked myself, is there something wrong with me? What is it that I do? Every time I’m in a relationship it only takes about 2 months for them to realize I’m not the “girlfriend” they been looking for. Ugh. What is wrong with me, I was still crying. I wiped my eyes and drove out of the parking lot and headed to my “Hide Out”.

             So I haven’t quite introduced myself. My full name is Valerina Martinez Aka Valerie or Val. I was born in LA, California and raised there for the first 5 years then I was raised in Texas for the next 5 years then in Italy for the next 3 years and ever since I was 13 I been every where. I have been to almost every state. I am in New York right now. My dad owns this company of music so basically what he does is he goes around the U.S (soon the world) and looks for new music, unknown artist, or just for business of music. My dad is Italian and Venezuelan. I refer to him as “Daddy” or “Papa” or “Papi” (the last 2 are Spanish). He has brown/blonde hair with blue eyes. My mom is from California and Texas. She has red hair with grayish/bluish eyes. Her lips are firmly perfect with natural beauty flowing through her whole face. I have redish hair mixed with blonde lights and grayish/bluish eyes. I have natural beauty so the only thing that I put on that is make up is lip gloss, eye liner, and mascara, but very little.

             I have a hide out in the state’s I been to. Since my dad travels a lot, I always have my ups and downs and am always finding beautiful places randomly, like California, I found the waterfall and behind it there is this little tunnel and after that an amazing view of mountains, New York, it’s the beach, where you can see the sun set perfectly, I love it there because it really brings out the blue in my eyes and the orangish/redish/blondish lights in my hair. But the funny thing is no one comes here, well when I’m there. Mexico, a mountain I found while I was driving that is shaped really weird but cool and beautiful. At the side of that there is this amazing and gorgeous set of flowers going down the hill.

-10 minutes later-

             I parked my car behind the trees and tall bushes. I put the lock on the wheel and put the keys in my bag, I slipped my bag in/under my arm. I got the box and closed the door. I walked down the 4 steps and slipped my heels off and put them in my bag. The water was flowing awesome and the sand was cool, it gave me tingles all over my body. I let go of the box, letting it to slam on the sand. I sat down and let all my emotions and whatever else out. At this point as I was opening the box, I was crying hysterically.

In The Box:

   The first thing I saw; a picture we took last week at the fair they had in downtown Brooklyn. I was wearing the shirt he bought me 3 weeks before that. I took the picture and ripped it in half, I opened my bag and took the sharpie out and put his name in the back of the picture that had me, the other half, and took the other half, which was him. I ripped it in little pieces and slipped it on the sand as I watched the water take it in. Second thing I saw; the shirt he bought me (the one in the picture) Yea I’m donating this, I said to myself. Third Thing I saw; the teddy bear he won for me. I took it up and ripped it up, I threw it in the water, and it took it away. And so on….

The box was empty. I watched the things go further and further into the water. I bent my legs bringing my thighs to my chest as I hugged my legs and laid my head on my knees. I cried and cried until I glanced at my hand I saw the promise ring he gave me. I slipped it off; I got up and threw the ring as far as I can into the ocean. I let myself go and sat on the sand and cried more. I still don’t understand why, I wish he could have given me a reason.

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